hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Randomize
