Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
