Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
