So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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