How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
