he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
