My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
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Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
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