Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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