i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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