I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Sober January is a disaster.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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