So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
