I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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