bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
