you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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