in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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