Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize