i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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