So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
