part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
