Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
