He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
