Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you had me at cake vodka
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
