he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize