Rock
Scissors
Fuck
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize