I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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