Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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