I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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