i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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