I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
