So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
