Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
