I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
