but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
