Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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