i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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