I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
being pregnant is like rehab
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Randomize
