He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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