Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
