Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
