Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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