Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.