but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
