There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
