C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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