So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
