Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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