I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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