Im at strip club and am horny
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
