Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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