i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
