I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You've changed since you got that strap on
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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