So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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