i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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