So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
