I have demons in me.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
