butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
