so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
