just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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