i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
