So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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