I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize