D3 body, D1 cock
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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