and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
