I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
