I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
