Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
