The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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