What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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