does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
