then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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