he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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