we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
