Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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