So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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